The above drawing is from the book "Dancing" by Marguerite Wilson, copyright 1899 published in Philadelphia.
Text between brackets [like this] are my own comments, the rest is direct quotes from the source. This article is about old balls. To learn about current balls click here.
[This is an exception, a history book, not an etiquette book. p.119, describing an 1839 ball in Philadelphia, quoted from a newspaper of 1839]: There was much excellent dancing and waltzing to Johnson's brass band, and were we permitted we might indicate some remarkable displays of graceful motion.
[This is from the travel writings of a British lady who went up the Mississippi river, stayed in New Orleans, Cincinnati, Washington, Baltimore, Philadelpha, New York and Niagra Falls. From her chapter XIV. The page number varies depending on which edition you have.]
In noting the various brilliant events which diversified our residence in the western metropolis [Cincinnati], I have omitted to mention the Birth-day Ball, as it is called, a festivity which, I believe, has place on the 22nd of February, in every town and city throughout the Union. It is the anniversary of the birth of General Washington, and well deserves to be marked by the Americans as a day of jubilee.
[The publisher lists offices in Detroit, St. Louis, Cincinnati and Chicago, so one city of publication cannot be given. A note in the front cover of the volume I examined was from the original owner, who said as an 18 year old he sold 100 copies in rural Indiana as a summer job]
[Of the dances that were called round dances at this time, the most popular was the waltz, now known as the Viennese Waltz. In the chapter Receptions, Parties and Balls. p. 133]: It may be that the round dance is monopolizing the ballroom to a too great extent, and it is possible that these may be so frequent as to mar the pleasure of some persons who do not care to participate in them to the exclusion of "square" and other dances. America should not be the only nation that confines ball room dancing to waltzes, as is done in some of our cities.
[p.137] Persons giving balls or dancing parties should be careful not to invite more than their rooms will accommodate, so as to avoid a crush. Invitations to crowded balls are not hospitalities, but inflictions. [Virtually all etiquette books of this period make this point in one way or another, but none that I have found give numbers to guide the reader, an oversight that I remedy in my article "The Viennese Waltz ", Appendix E, at this web site].
[p.142]When dancing a round dance, a gentleman should never hold a lady's hand behind him, or on his hip, or high in the air, moving her arm as though it were a pump handle, as seen in some of our western cities, but should hold it gracefully by his side.
[p.441] The refreshment room should, if possible, be on the same floor as the ballroom, because it is not only inconvenient, but dangerous, for ladies heated by the dance to encounter the draught of the staircases, while it is most destructive to their dresses.
Provide in the refreshment room wine, lemonade, tea and coffee, ices, biscuits, wafers, cakes, and cracker bon-bons.
Supper should be in a separate room. ... Substantial fare, such as fowls, ham, tongue, turkey, etc., may be added at discretion.
Nothing upon the table should require carving; the fowls, pheasants, turkeys, and other birds should be cut up beforehand, and held together by ribbons, which require only severing.
[p.446]Gentlemen should endeavor to entertain the ladies who dance with them with a little conversation, or something more novel than the weather and the heat of the room; and in the round dances they should be particularly careful to guard them from collisions, and to see that their dresses are not torn.
[from the chapter evening parties and balls, p.117, complaining about late balls] The loss of sleep is serious to young men, who attempt to comply with the requirements of both business and society, and a sensible reform should establish earlier hours. Fashionable young damsels, if their indulgent mothers permit it, may restore their excited nerves by sleeping away the hours which their busier beaux are obliged to spend over dull accounts, or prosy correspondence, and may, perhaps, suffer less damage by the transformation of night into day.
[p.122] An English writer says: "The advantage of the ball is that it brings young people together for a sensible and innocent recreation, and takes them away from silly if not bad ones; that it gives them exercise, and that the general effect of the beauty, elegance and brilliance of a ball is to elevate rather than deprave the mind."
[p.123] An awning, to provide against bad weather, should reach to the sidewalk, and a carpet should be spread from the hall to the alighting place to protect the ladies dresses.
[p.129] Never attempt to step over a lady's train; walk around it. No offense tries the temper of women like the tread of a careless foot upon that most useless--in man's opinion--but dearest part of her dress, her train, and he who would save himself from falling into disgrace, must instantly "beg pardon," and if he has torn it, with becoming humility, offer to conduct her to the dressing room for repairs.
[From Chapter 6, balls, picking up the text at page 135].
Very few hostesses, in this day and generation, are willing or able to cope with the task of serving any but a buffet supper when giving a ball. For the service of such a supper the dining-room is brilliantly lighted, the chairs are arranged against the wall, and the table is adorned with flowers and laden with baskets of cakes and sandwiches, trays of bonbons, platters of fruit, moulds of jellied meats, and dishes of meat salads. On the sideboard, fringed napkins, forks, knives, cups and saucers, plates and glasses are placed in abundance. Then, at eleven or twelve o'clock, the doors of the dining-room are opened without announcement and the guests go in and out as they please, choosing whatever refreshments they wish. Although the gentlemen aid in supplying the wants of the ladies, three or four maids or men servants must be in attendance, to serve from the pantry any special dishes that may have been prepared and to see that the needs of no guest are neglected. For a ball given in winter divers hot dishes are customary, such as creamed oysters with warm finger-rolls; some preparation of lobster--a la Newburg, or in the form of breaded chops; timbales of meat and fish; terrapin, chicken croquettes, minced meat and fish or mushrooms in pastry shells. As a rule, it is all sufficient at a ball if the menu consists of one hot dish, a salad, ices, sandwiches and rolls, fruit, bonbons, hot coffee or chocolate, and punch. A hungry guest can honor every course or taste but one dainty, and the warm food, ices and coffee are ordinarily served in the pantry, and then, set on large trays, are carried about the dining-room by serving men or maids, who offer them to the guests as they enter the room, along with the proper accompaniment of napkins, forks, spoons, etc.
In the cities where there are accomplished caterers, a member of society, who purposes to give a ball, merely indicates, to the head of the establishment she patronizes, the number of guests expected, gives him a general outline of what she would like to have served, and entrusts the whole matter to him. He supplies all the extra dishes and servants needed, and prepares the refreshments according to the instructions given him; and a head butler sees that the service in the dining-room is prompt and adequate. The caterer also supplies, if desired, a number of folding canvas chairs for the use of the guests, who are left to satisfy the cravings of hunger by eating as they stand, or by finding seats and using their knees as impromptu tables. Throughout the evening a table, placed conspicuously somewhere near the drawing-room, supports a bowl of iced punch or lemonade and a tray of small glasses with handles. At the punch-bowl a servant is stationed to serve the thirsty dancers and to see that the supply of clean glasses is always equal to the demand. In addition to the punch, not infrequently champagne is poured in the dining-room, a skilful man servant giving his attention to the proper icing of the wine in the pantry, to opening the bottles, and filling and passing a tray loaded with brimming glasses of the sparkling wine.
For a dance in the country or in a small town, where the assistance of a caterer is unattainable or not desired, the buffet supper is still the easiest means of serving a number of guests, and a hostess, with one or two capable maid servants, is equal to the demands apt to be made upon her hospitality. She can place her bowl of mild iced punch or lemonade on a table in the hall, leaving the guests to help themselves, and only taking care that a servant at intervals clears away the glasses that have been used and replaces them with fresh ones. The dining-room should be arranged as directed in the preceding paragraph. For a dance in summer in the country hot dishes are hardly necessary or acceptable. The cakes, salads, fruits, bonbons, plates, knives and forks, etc., are most conveniently set forth on the dining-table and sideboard. Coffee, kept hot by a spirit lamp, can be served from a side table by one serving maid, while another brings in from the pantry cups of iced bouillon and saucers of ices, and hands them to the guests, who either stand or are seated about the room. Thus two clever maids will easily manage the serving of the entire supper.
Now and then, at balls of great splendor, a more difficult and ceremonious method of serving the refreshing delicacies is followed. If the ball is a particularly luxurious affair, there may be served an elaborate meal at midnight; but, besides, from the moment the dancing begins until the end of the evening, in some small room or corner of the hall or library, not only are punch and lemonade prepared and poured, but tea, coffee, chocolate, and hot bouillon are kept at a torrid temperature, and offered to those who wish cups of the savory liquids, along with small cakes and very delicate sandwiches. Many guests will patronize such a tiny buffet in preference to the heavy and lengthy feast. This is served at twelve or half past by a corps of servants, who, at a signal from the hostess, quickly set out a number of small tables through the ball-room, dining-room, and even in the hallway, at each of which at least four persons can be seated. The supper is served in courses, and usually includes, according to the season, clear soup or jellied consomme with rolls, terrapin or lobster, game, a hot delicacy in pastry shells, jellied meats, salads, several varieties of sandwiches, ices, and coffee. Red wine and champagne are poured, and while the guests are being served the orchestra discourses appropriate music. A very large house and a very capable caterer are essential to successfully set forth such a supper, for directly the meal is at an end, the tables and chairs and dishes must be cleared out of sound, as well as out of sight. When a ball is given in an extensive suite at a hotel, the refreshment may be well served in a spacious dining-hall in this elaborate way, the small tables being previously arranged with individual lights, flowers, etc. and tubs of palms being disposed picturesquely about the room.
[p.158]It is quite proper for a man, immediately on introduction to a woman, to ask her for a dance, register his name on her card, and then, excusing himself, go on to others to ask dances of them. He, of course, registers the ladies' names on his card, and directly the music for each dance begins, he seeks her who his card shows is to be his partner. May I put my name down for a waltz, Miss Blank? or I see number five is not taken. May I have it? or I hope your card is not filled yet, Miss Brown, and that you will give me the second two-step or the first lancers, are the simple and conventional phrases in which a gentleman requests a dance.
[p.160]So few are the cities, towns, or even small villages where dancing classes are not held that there seems hardly any excuse for a man to attend a ball and refuse to dance, assigning as his reason that he does not know how.
[From the chapter "Balls Dancing and Masquerades"]
[p.241] Balls should begin at about nine o'clock in the evening, and terminate at two or three in the morning.
[p.243]Good music is a prime necessity. An orchestra, even if it must be a small one, is needful for a ball. Four pieces are enough: violin, piano, violincello, or harp, and cornet.
[p.244] At a ball elaborate refreshments are to be expected, and are usually served all the evening from a long table loaded with silver and glass and softly but brilliantly illuminated. No one is expected to sit down at such a supper, but the guests as they come in, a few at a time, are served by waiters in attendance.
Both hot and cold dishes are to be had; and substantial food, as well as all manner of sweets, should be furnished for an amusement that begets a most unromantic hunger. Small game birds may be served cold; the larger fowl hot. Boned turkey (cold) is especially liked. Game pates, oysters, cooked or raw, all manner of truffled dishes, and a variety of salads are served, while fruits, ices, confections, cakes, and so on, ad infinitum, do fitly furnish forth the feast.
[From the chapter "Giving and Attending Parties, Balls, and Germans".]
[p.90]Generally the early part of the evening is spent with the waltz, and after supper the "German".
Finally, it should be noted that cultural fads can be carried to extremes. Even though I would assert that balls are a good thing, the impossible extremes of etiquette promoted by etiquette books of the time were a very bad thing. The extremes to which the nineteenth century popular culture of "refinement" were carried were documented and derided at the time by Gilbert and Sullivan in their musical shows. Their "Ruddigore" (1887) lampooned an over reliance on etiquette books, their "Patience" (1881) lampooned affectation of refinement. These operettas are available in printed form or on video. Opposition of a more serious nature at the time of the balls was provided by the adversiaries of dance. Today, in the age of automobile, television, airplane, and computer, the cultural pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. Popular music and social dance of today bear a disturbing resemblance to what one imagines they must have been like among cannibals in the jungle 10,000 years ago. Some of today's young people dance cannibal dances to cannibal music, wearing cannibal tatoos and cannibal nose rings. At least they are consistent. All that is missing is the huge cannibal pot in the middle of the dance floor to boil the victim. It seems that the style of popular music defines the style of popular culture. One could summarize the philosophical underpinning of popular culture in the 1800's as "be the best that you can be". Conversely, the pendulum has swung to the other extreme, "you are no good unless you are no good". One wonders if this is anything more than an echo of Marx's teaching that the capitalist is no good, the bourgeoisie is no good, only the proletariat is any good.
A modern book about ball etiquette from the 1800's is "From the Ballroom to Hell", by Elizabeth Aldrich, Northwestern University Press, 1991. It is not to be confused with a very different book by the same name published in 1892. The newer book is well worth getting. Especially interesting is "Handkerchief Flirtations" on p. 103, for those who always wondered about hanky dropping etiquette. Some of the old books about balls and dancing are online at http:// memory.loc.gov/ ammem/ dihtml/ dihome.html.